Wind: Tasty When Thoroughly Sucked
Yes, as this week grinds to a close, I am certainly sucking some serious wind.
If I’d tried to post this earlier it would have devolved into a pathetic, fucking sorry-ass, dejected, miserable sobfest total rant.
This afternoon between two and three I was some wreck. Alone in my hovel of an office. Staring at yet another “love-a-long-cock” email, personally addressed to me. How did I get on this fucking mailing list?!?!? And, can’t anyone who doesn’t want me to “grow-a-big-dick” write me a friggin’ email?!?! Simply overwhelmed with the demands and what I’m feeling is my own complete inadequacy in this here whole undertaking of homeschooling. Not that it’s been so hard, really. It’s just been incredibly difficult integrating it into daily life while feeling like I’m actually teaching something. Right now, as we are still trying to establish an efficient, working routine- add Zip’s schedule switch at his school over there, cutting my morning into bits- I’m getting shit all accomplished and these days are audibly WHHHIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-ing by.
Most certainly feeling frustrated earlier.
I’m better now. A swim at the hot pools with the kids. Not a cold day. Sunny. Some precious vitamin D. Pizza night!
Despite the frustrations that I encounter almost daily and with the aid of a little perspective, I must remember I know:
- I’m probably being way too hard on myself. And without doubt, on dear Sally. Must keep expectations in check.
- I am fucking lucky and priveleged to have the luxury of being able to homeschool my child.
- I have this opportunity to spend good, quality time with my son. Both of us engaged in his education.
- I know people crazy busier and way more overwhelmed, with what they feel are few alternatives.
- The power of surrender*
- I love my life…. as it is. Just saying this made me all fuzzy warm. Good to know I can talk myself down pretty quickly these days, with little impact on household. Perspective… and gratitude… powerful things.
*Travel light. It’s all OK. Swimming upstream is a fucking grind. Be. Here. Breathe. Enjoy!
