Here’s a plan… all women out there who participate in the Facebook experience need to drop hooter and capture it for posterity… and post it on your Facebook accounts.

Only in a man’s world should we need to validate the breast and it’s purpose for being… and remind people of it’s plain old mundane value to humanity- think toast in a more comfortable package.  So mundane, that it is known to feed billions of children everyday all over the world.  Anything that widely used is just… boring.  Uninteresting.  Just part of the everyday human experience.  Not titillating.  Not erotic.  Certainly NOT PORN!!!

By God, the breast is downright commonplace by any standards… unless you are an effing man!  And unless you are an effing man working as a cubicle jerk-off at Facebook.

The idea that we must still hide breastfeeding, stashing feeding babies under blankets or relegating them and their mothers to stinky loos (who, tell me…. WHO eats where they POOP?!?!  Not my dog, for Chrissakes.  Why should someone’s baby?!?) and glorified closets!

Facebook and associated shit for brains suits… you suck!

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

And in the wise words of the great Kelly Slater…

When you’re not worried about the outcome, that’s when you can discover things about yourself.  You trust your gut and act on instinct.

How can you dispute a guy who surfs for a living?!

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

Oh.  My.  God.  I am finally nearing the end of my Annual Knitting Bender.  Know how I can tell?

Because I am currently unravelling and ravelling one project repeatedly without success…. For days, now.  What was a supplementary Christmas gift is looking more like a drop-off by the New Years elves…. or Saint effing Valentine, if I’m lucky….

What should have been a simple knit with remarkable results has turned into a true textile arts(obviously used in the most loosest of terms) effing nightmare, but I am bound and effing determined to see this thing through…. despite having just rammed a size 10 knitting needle into my ear.

So here I sit, before a cozy fire, babbling Dr. Seusically, a la brain-munching Ray Liotta in Hannibal, engaging in pleasantries with my oozing brain fluid and bits of hypothalamus, futiley attempting to keep them from sticking to my BRAND NEW LEATHER CHAIR!

Needles.  Yarn.  Hear me… I shall overcome!

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

Forty came and went… it was a great day, and I was kept so busy by an incredible group of friends that I had very little time to rest in quiet and reflect on what this milestone birthday means to me, what this past year has taught or what I’d like to see of this new year to come.  And I ate wayyyyy too much.  But, thanks to this wonderful group of friends I did it with GREAT hair!!

And so, as I sit, the day after, now officially forty… I recall saying to someone last year as I contemplated what it would mean to turn the big 4-0, “It won’t be bad at all… as long as I feel as though I’m moving forward…”

As I look back upon the last year of my thirties, I can conclude with satisfaction that it was a year of steady progression, personally and professionally, and that progress, happily, continues into forty.  I adore my family.  I have a gem of a husband.  I have goals, work and other activities that excite me.

As I sit by the mostest perfect Christmas tree, in my “little cottage house”, ensconsed in our “bowl of mountains”, I am blissful in my life and look forward to the just plain wonderful that is still to come!

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

Today.  I. Turn.  40.

Insights to come later.

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

We have found the tree!  It was a tad chilly and after only one meltdown… mine… over kids laziness in choosing appropriate winter clothing- we headed out to a nearby former tree farm and searched down the perfect tree…

The boys at work…

Aaaaannnnnnnddddd…. Fifi’s contribution…

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

Knitting for me is like a bad case of the flu.

It hits me hard about once a year but rather than chunks, scarves are hurled.  And, as with the flu, knitting (and crochet- I don’t discriminate), renders me otherwise useless on my sofa, requesting food and water served by the miscreants while watching Elfon endless loop.

I can feel a bad case of flu knitting coming on.  In anticipation of an unusually severe bout, I ordered up a wad of yarn very, very early this morning and I cannot wait to lay my sweaty little hands on the buttery soft, bright colourful skeins.  I am particularly susceptible at this time of year, just as it starts to get nasty cold and the snow begins to fill the trees.  It’s almost like an itch… my internet surfing returns frequently to Etsy and I spend many precious hours moments drooling over the variety of yummy yarn projects people are selling.

Anyhow… as I pace my home tearing at my eyelids wait patiently for my skeins of bliss I shall revel in this, the last week of my thirties.  Contemplation and wads of gratitude fill these last days… and I do believe the conclusion shall be, as I move into a new decade next Thursday… my forties will effing ROCK!!

With a new scarf, no less!

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

It’s been several years, more like 8 or so, really, but I have a renewed admiration for the very hot Puerto Rican, Ricki Martin- and yes, I’m aware he’s gay!!  But this just sealed the deal:

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites

I guess I deserve this… I’ve been awake since after 2 and up here all cozied on the sofa, laptop… ummmm… on lap, since a quarter to 3.  Thank God/Allah/Al Gore for this here innernet as it gives those of us up at unGodly hours of the morning a way to while away the insomniac hours.

I am usually a morning person.  I LOVE waking up at 5.  This gives me two straight hours of time alone, with just my thoughts, my keyboard tapping fingers and the sunrise for inspiration… before the unruly, noisy, food-seeking miscreants come to life and start in with their various- endless- demands.  As a result, a day begun two hours before the rest of the family bodes well for the remainder of the day… and for said family.

However, when I have these nights… well, the effect is perhaps not so positive.  I will likely be asleep again, up here cozied on my sofa in an hour or so… and consequently I will be awoken by said miscreants… groggy, puffy-eyed, and a little grumpy… unlike the fresh, heartily coffied face they are accustomed to greeting as they emerge from their sleepy depths, they will get- aaarrrggghhh… I wish I had a photo- well, something far less pretty!

And the point of this post, other than killing a half hour in these weeeeee hours of the morning, is to say, I haven’t had this kind of night since I began the de-tox over a week ago.  I’ve slept like a log… up effortlessly with my 5am alarm.  Sure, as I have recorded here, there has been a cheat day on this program… Mickey D’s mid-day on shopping outing to Cranny…. the closest McDonald’s is an hour away, so it’s a total treat- once a month, maybe and I couldn’t freaking resist, alright?!?!  But by and large, other than the teeniest bit of cream in my morning coffee, I’ve stuck to the program, until last night.

I was offered a rather exclusive invite, thanks to my efforts as editor to our tiny, local rag to a Tapas Menu launch at the pub at our local resort.  Free tapas, people!  Free!  Along with free sangria…. FREE!  Anyhow, we feasted on fresh oysters, pretty little lamb racks, smoked salmon quesadillas, spicy chocolate shrimp- enormous!- tiny little sirloin burgers, and tons of cheese…. I cannot walk away from a stinky Stilton, I’m sorry.  There was of course, likely the real kicker, the sangria.  Oh, annnndddd… as I’d totally derailed anyways, why not tuck away a slice- or so, ahem- of the kids leftover pizza.

So there you have it… a largely restless night resulting in being fully awake at 2:30.

My first real lesson in dietary cause and effect.  Sure, I’ve heard about it for years… but not being particularly conscious of what foods do in, or to, my system- I don’t think you can be unless you suffer with food allergies, or as this program has required, remove things lock, stock and barrel- I’ve never really known, or felt, what food- the white stuff primarily: dairy, flour and sugar- does to my functioning.  The yogis know of what they speak….

A little wake-up call, shall we say…. heh.  I kill me.

Bookmark Me!

Hide Sites