This is likely our last night in the suburban DC area for this trip. We head on to North Carolina, back up to Norfolk and then spend the remaining time at the Delaware beach house.

Other than our trip to the zoo, it looks like we will not make it into DC again. No Mall, no museums, no monuments… none of the stuff people ALWAYS see when they visit this area.

Is that weird?

We did live here for over six years… So, I have seen all that stuff. But the miscreants haven’t in quite some time. Certainly not at ages where they might actually enjoy these sights. I mean, who homeschools… and travels to only miles from the centre of the world US capital… and doesn’t visit all the stuff that everyone actually comes here specifically to see?! Who?!?

But the sad fact is, other than our trips up to Bethesda to visit with SIL and her kids, I’ve enjoyed hunkering out here in the burbs, south of the beltway, tucked away off the infamous ‘mixing bowl’, the labyrinthine maze of lanes and over-passes that is the junction of 495 and 95.

I mean, really… it’s scary out there people. Particularly for one now so accustomed to life back in the sticks, nestled in the cold, solitary safety of the Canadian Rockies. Braving the rushing traffic, road rage and over-priced parking is now only a little overwhelming. And so… rather than the Jefferson and Washington Monuments, I’ve been to two local Targets. And rather than The Mall, make it Trader Joes! OMG… I would give my husband’s left nut for a Trader Joe’s! And rather than the Natural History Museum, Sally and I hit cheap $2 Tuesday and IronMan at the movies- alongside every kid this side of the Potomac!

But we’ve also been to Baltimore. Not DC… but Baltimore. We had to drop hubby at the train for his quarterly trip to his office in Wilmington. Baltimore… where we enjoyed three hours at the aquarium amongst a thousand rabid Red Sox fans with time to kill pre-game. The Baltimore Aquarium is way cool, but for the love of Pete, does there have to be a friggin’ crowd every where we go?!?

Honestly, there are people everywhere!

Today. Today… why, Costco, of course.  Really, who doesn’t need 3 kilos of Frosted Flakes and 36 rolls of t.p. when travelling?! And the APPLE STORE!… where hopefully, with the promise of some dutiful, yet eager, wifely servicing, I will be rewarded with some form of Apple product. Truly, I do believe I could get used to the suburban life a little too easily.

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After these last two events, I have decided I need a new bike. I want one that has gears… that actually shift; wheels that actually turn, propelling one forward, as you pedal uphill; a seat that actually supports an ass, rather than violates it; and… well, I just want a REAL bike.

Sure, this lovely specimen won’t help me set any records in the Wasa tri- all those hardcore trifreaks will continue to look down their Cervelo P2 Carbons at me as I roll into the transition area on my big, fat, nubby tires- but I don’t care, I’m hoping to narrow down my annual event circuit to our local Extreme 3 anyways. And for that, I would need the bike, this bike, I found today.

Ahhh… she’s a beaut… oh yes. A fine bicycle.

And I would have thoroughly lost myself in it’s previously owned magnificence… had I not been distracted by the young man trying to sell it to me. Understand, I’m one hip momma. I’m all over the whole tatoo and piercing thing. In fact, I even have a few… tatoos, not piercings. OK, so I have a couple of piercings: my ears, in the usual location, and my belly button. But we all know these hardly count.

I digress. His arms were covered in tatoos. And hey, like I said, I’m one hip momma, I barely noticed. I’m kind of into that anyhow. However, I was having a hard time not staring at the dumbbell through his eyebrow- Hate them. Hate them. Hate them. I found myself silently questioning, as I do whenever I am confronted with young, innocent, eyebrows impaled, WTF and Why The Hell…?

But honestly, when I found I could actually see the row of bikes through the holes in his earlobes, that was it. Over. I couldn’t hear a word the nice, young feller was saying. I mean, I could see everything… a guy getting his bike fixed at the back of the open shop… the Dairy Queen across the street… my Honda Odyssey…. Depending on where he decided to position himself as he rattled off specs and features of said bike, I was provided a whole new view of my hometown through the symmetrical pair of holes in his ears. Sure, it was a little disjointed. I mean, each scene was oddly cleaved by his head, before resuming once again through the other sagging, open lobe.

I was transfixed. Totally. Entertained. I found myself bobbing around wildly trying to get good sight of my car to see what my kid was doing within. Is that my neighbor in the drive-thru? Hey, hair salon… I need to remember to get my highlights done this month… Jesus, that guy needs to slow down….

Oh my God. Too weird.

Whatever. Each to his own, I guess. I still want the bike…. And between now and October, when it goes on sale, I’ll enjoy visiting it and gazing upon its loveliness through my nice salesboy’s ears.

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The last few days were spent in Calgary.  A trip to the city.  Not bad roads through the park, either way, thankfully.  We stayed with Gramps.  We had a night out with friends. We got new tires at Costco… 

Costco…  It has been about four years since I had been into a Costco.  I had forgotten the sheer rush.  The intense and mighty buzz.  Just walking through the doors.  At Costco, I am an Executive.  I have a card that says so.  With the flash of said card, I am welcomed in the door with a smile.  

Mere moments inside and I am completely and totally overwhelmed with want- no, NEED- the spending drive unconsciously triggered.  Are they pumping something into the air or am I just a sucker(one of millions given the friggin’ crowds), for rows on rows, pile after pile, stack upon stack, of stuff. The the ipod/cd player thingamabob, the 52″ TV, the all-in-one wireless printer/fax/copier/whatever, DVD’s, CD’s, the books: Beatrix Potter, Oprah’s Book Club, Rachel Ray and freaking Dr. Oz; sheepskin slippers, jackets, pj’s, rolls upon rolls- metres upon metres- of Christmas wrap, a $65 roast, cheeses, croissants.  I looked at, gazed upon and considered it all.  Every aisle.  Power tools, batteries, endless paper products and garbage bags, batteries and frozen hors ‘doerves.

It’s a sickness.  One I am ashamed to admit to.  A sickness in that, despite the crowds, just being there was strangely, pathetically exhilarating.  What was a stop for $540 (great deal!) worth of tires turned into a ridiculous amount of money…  I know though that I am not alone.  I can take comfort in the fact that nearly everyone in that tire lineup, that morning, went through that store.  Clearly, Costco knows this, too. 

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This is the best- and no one is paying me to say so!!  Years ago we used a French Press.  It made a great cup of coffee, but I considered it something of a pain in the ass.  We then graduated to a drip, which after the frigging around with the FP, the no muss no fuss was a huge relief as it automatically brewed me a good cup ‘o joe every morning.

Well, with all the family coming in, I was searching our small town for a carafe in which to serve many cups of coffee (so that I wasn’t perpetually brewing pot after pot), but to no avail.  What I did find, however, was this lovely 12 cup perculator.

Freaking awesome!  Rich, hot, hot, hot coffee!  It is the best!  And it takes up less space on my counter!  Makes. Me. Happy.

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This is it.  This is all I’m asking from Santa this year.  I saw them in the mall and FELL IN LOVE!  I’ve never owned a pair of UGG’s and never really wanted to, honestly.  Until these.  The Ugg Tall Adirondack! Size 9.  Santa, can you hear me?  I have been a very good girl…

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