I guess I deserve this… I’ve been awake since after 2 and up here all cozied on the sofa, laptop… ummmm… on lap, since a quarter to 3.  Thank God/Allah/Al Gore for this here innernet as it gives those of us up at unGodly hours of the morning a way to while away the insomniac hours.

I am usually a morning person.  I LOVE waking up at 5.  This gives me two straight hours of time alone, with just my thoughts, my keyboard tapping fingers and the sunrise for inspiration… before the unruly, noisy, food-seeking miscreants come to life and start in with their various- endless- demands.  As a result, a day begun two hours before the rest of the family bodes well for the remainder of the day… and for said family.

However, when I have these nights… well, the effect is perhaps not so positive.  I will likely be asleep again, up here cozied on my sofa in an hour or so… and consequently I will be awoken by said miscreants… groggy, puffy-eyed, and a little grumpy… unlike the fresh, heartily coffied face they are accustomed to greeting as they emerge from their sleepy depths, they will get- aaarrrggghhh… I wish I had a photo- well, something far less pretty!

And the point of this post, other than killing a half hour in these weeeeee hours of the morning, is to say, I haven’t had this kind of night since I began the de-tox over a week ago.  I’ve slept like a log… up effortlessly with my 5am alarm.  Sure, as I have recorded here, there has been a cheat day on this program… Mickey D’s mid-day on shopping outing to Cranny…. the closest McDonald’s is an hour away, so it’s a total treat- once a month, maybe and I couldn’t freaking resist, alright?!?!  But by and large, other than the teeniest bit of cream in my morning coffee, I’ve stuck to the program, until last night.

I was offered a rather exclusive invite, thanks to my efforts as editor to our tiny, local rag to a Tapas Menu launch at the pub at our local resort.  Free tapas, people!  Free!  Along with free sangria…. FREE!  Anyhow, we feasted on fresh oysters, pretty little lamb racks, smoked salmon quesadillas, spicy chocolate shrimp- enormous!- tiny little sirloin burgers, and tons of cheese…. I cannot walk away from a stinky Stilton, I’m sorry.  There was of course, likely the real kicker, the sangria.  Oh, annnndddd… as I’d totally derailed anyways, why not tuck away a slice- or so, ahem- of the kids leftover pizza.

So there you have it… a largely restless night resulting in being fully awake at 2:30.

My first real lesson in dietary cause and effect.  Sure, I’ve heard about it for years… but not being particularly conscious of what foods do in, or to, my system- I don’t think you can be unless you suffer with food allergies, or as this program has required, remove things lock, stock and barrel- I’ve never really known, or felt, what food- the white stuff primarily: dairy, flour and sugar- does to my functioning.  The yogis know of what they speak….

A little wake-up call, shall we say…. heh.  I kill me.

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OK, so I had a friggin’ Snack Wrap with large fries… and a Coke.  So what?  And?!

And… it tasted like heaven!  Hot, crispy, greasy heaven with… salt.

Today I’m back to eating like a miniature yogi…

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I think I made it over the hump… or at least perhaps the Tahini.  Thursday night, our usual Pizza Nite here in our little Rocky Mountain abode, was TORTURE!!  Oh.  My.  God.  The entire evening turned into an education about how much of our food consumption is motivated by sheer entertainment.

Thursday to us is what Friday is to most other North Americans.  The beauty of working from home and homeschooling, it is the beginning of our weekend… ummmmm, don’t tell husband’s office… and has GREAT TV (my only real TV night, anymore).  Typically a blissful exercise in indulgence followed by lethargy!

So, as a function of this Herbal Detox, we found ourselves without, what we now know is the anchor of our Thursday night festivities, PIZZA:  thin crust, topped in various spicy veggies, sauce and cheese, perhaps pesto, tomatoes and goat cheese for some variety, bar-be-cued to crispy perfection, regardless the weather or time of year, by dear husband.   Mmmmmmmmm…. heaven.  Truly.

Lost.  Abandoned.  Munching lettuce dripping in a tofu-modified version of my usually, famously wondrous, orgasmically indulgent, Caesar dressing.  Not a crouton to be found.  With tap water.  Even the TV seemed to be lacking… or perhaps it was just my refined-carbohydrate-deprived mood.

However, that said, I do believe, on this Day 5, I am over the hardest part.  I am confronted with a day to nearest commercial centre, which is usually laden with Starbucks Mochas and a variety of fast food options, and as I envision these next many hours I feel at peace with what will not be today.  I am actually having glimpses of what it might be not to plan a day to Cranbrook around what I will eat.  But, granted, I haven’t yet left the house.  And I am currently stuffed on Laxi-herb and whole oat flakes.

We shall see…..

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[di-mok-ruh-see]  1. government by the people; a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system.

If Stephen Harper is reading, he might consider extracting head from… rightwing, ultra-conservative, power hungry ass!!
There  I was, not long ago, expressing my resigned satisfaction, if not relief, at our maintaining status quo, no matter how very mediocre.  Well, I take it back. If this last election and the Conservative’s attempt to manipulate the public, while kicking the opposition while Dion- I mean, down- is not enough, how ‘bout lets really test the nation’s collective constitution and drive us into complete political dissaray in the midst of a financial crisis all under the guise of political and economic righteousness.

Rather than Hope.  Change.  Yes We Can;  as evidenced by our ever-evolving brethren to the south, we get Blatant. Backroom. Partisan. Opportunism.  Brilliant!

And while I maintain only the hardiest of disdain towards the prospect of Celine- I mean, Stephane- Dion as PM, I put my trust in little handsome Jack.  A cobbled together coalition has to be an improvement over being dragged down fascist lane!

And… with this backdrop of uncharacteristically interesting Canadian political activity, I begin Detox.  Not only do these trying times call for a tidy, sparing and prudent pocketbook… but constitution as well.  Excess is out and that means food… fat… and just plain consumption, in general.

It’s time to get rid of what is fast becoming a spare tire.  And saddlebags.  And turkey wings.  Not to mention the patchy, dry flakiness- no not my disposition! Complexion, readers!!- and acne.  No more Coca-Cola.  Miss Vickie’s Salt & Vinegar.  Fondue.  Meat.  Fast Food.  Yuck… yuck… and yuck.

Hello, tahini and rice cakes!!  Herbal tea!  Brown rice!

I turn 40 in a mere 16 DAYS!!!  And while I may no longer have visions of bringing in a new decade in a body much like that of Dara Torres, I’d at least like to feel like I’m on a better, healthier track.  And I’ve signed up for a half marathon 29th of March.  Training must now begin…. again.

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