It’s 6 weeks, 5 extra bloody pounds(if I’m lucky) and we’ve finally arrived.  Our final destination, via one and a half weeks at home and a week on the West Coast.  Now we can truly relax… OK, as much as you can totally relax while husband- and me, to a lesser degree- are still working.   This is the cost in the WAH cost-benefit ratio:  work can go everywhere… and that includes vacation- real or otherwise.  By real I mean, here… in Mexico.  By otherwise, I mean the many weeks previous that included primarily visiting family.  Don’t get me wrong… visiting’s great, but vacation?  Really, no.

So, here we are.  Mexico.  Raining.  But I.  Do.  Not.  Care.  I love it here.  It’s become a second home- literally and figuratively, and I can only smile as I look out upon the misty, green Caribbean.  Despite being relegated to dial-up… and it’ll only get worse after we leave to our shack on the weekend.  Once we leave these fancy digs off to our own little corner of the Yucatan, we’ll be left to search out Internet, news, contact with other human beings at Gringo’s, a little restaurant-bar on the beach, the only wireless connection in town.  Unless we wanted to pay our nearby local Canadian/realtor/scheister $750 big ones to set us up with highspeed for the three weeks we’ll be there… someday it might be worth it, cuz we’ll be here for months.   Months, I say! But this time, no dice.  Gringo’s, here we come…. prep the deep-fryer, the family’s coming to work!

But for now, I will enjoy my dial-up with a view.  From my CALIFORNIA KING!!  Ahhhhhhh…. yes.

Oh.  Husband had to suck it up at the airport.  His initial dreams of trekking family and related baggage from airport to local public transportation to avoid being reamed the exorbitant cost for taxi from airport… dashed!!  No shit, Sherlock!  One, the only public transportation takes you downtown, in the opposite direction of hotels, ours specifically-  if one were interested in doing so, say they were travelling alone, with no kids and minimal bags, you would then make connection from downtown to bus heading to hotel zone… a total of about one and a half hours out of your way- two, there is a monopoly on transportation services from airport.  We are, after all, a completely captive market.  We all just want to get where we’re going with as little hassle and time as possible.  Again, no shit, Sherlock!  Husband, duly contrite, bent over and took it like a man.

We made it to the hotel, three tired kids, three over-packed bags and ourselves. Safe, sound and stressfree… in a mere 15 minutes!  $58 bucks well spent….

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This is supposed to be a Best Shot Monday post.  It isn’t.  I have wads of photos filling up cards, yet to be transferred over to computer for editing.  We just arrived at the in-law-family-beach-house in Delaware last night after many hours on the road and tons of fun visiting family and friends.  I am happy to settle in… get newsletter done… and just relax!

While we’ve been tired, sometimes cranky and sleeping in various different beds, these past several days have been tremendous fun, as well as a little inspiring in the areas of parenting and homeschooling.

After leaving Northern Virginia we headed south to western North Carolina, where we spent an overnight with my cousin and her family.  I haven’t seen my cousin in over 15 years.  Of all of us we were the closest cousins, during childhood, meeting most summers at my grandmother’s house in Northern Ontario.  I was in her wedding.  That was the last time I saw her.  As an aside, that last time I saw her, as recorded for all of eternity in her wedding photos, I had a hideous cold sore eating up the lower right quadrant of my face.  Our reunion on Thursday… a hideous cold sore eating up the lower right quadrant of my face.  Weird.

In the span of time since last seeing her I’ve gotten married and had three kids.  In the same span of time, she has had nine.  Yes, you read correctly… NINE.  She has nine of the best behaved, interesting, beautiful kids anywhere.  In fact, I almost took one home with me.  The baby.  He would have made for a perfectly delicious, chubby, smiling, giggling, wondrous addition to our home (currently screaming out for another baby, I might add), but I was wrestled to the ground as he was pried from my arms I resisted….  something about his already having a wonderful, loving home… what-ever.

Anyways, despite my nervousness, seeing her after so much time apart and our lives so changed, sharing time with cousin and her family was a pleasure.  She is a wonderful mother.  Thanks to her sense of structure and painstaking organization, there is no chaos or mayhem.  And the woman homeschools.  Sure, there’s the possibility everyone was on their bestest of behaviour with company- freshly beaten lectured just before we arrived- but really, things just ran too smoothly for that to be true.  It was evident that these were just well-behaved, thoughtful, intelligent, happy kids… regardless when anybody shows up.

I took notes.

After leaving North Carolina, it was back to Virginia: Hampton Roads.  Hubby’s business partner and his family.  More familiar in the noise and chaos.  Perhaps less organized than our hosts the previous night… but like I said, familiar!  It’s always fun and we hit El Mariachi.  My favourite Mexican place.  Anywhere.  And we took the gang to Busch Gardens at Williamsburg.  OMG!  I had a blast.  Not being of age, or more specifically interest, for rollercoasters and other harrowing amusement park rides, they were pretty bored until they got to the bumper cars.  Watching mummy depart each ride, swaying and swerving, slightly green-faced, grinning like an idiot only has so much appeal to the young ‘uns.  But, hey… I. Had. A.  Blast!!  Apollo’s Chariot.  Alpengeist.  Lochness Monster.  Loved.  It.  I didn’t get to the Griffon.  I wasn’t quite ready to ball up for that one.  Maybe next time.  And perhaps a kid might actually go with me….

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This is likely our last night in the suburban DC area for this trip. We head on to North Carolina, back up to Norfolk and then spend the remaining time at the Delaware beach house.

Other than our trip to the zoo, it looks like we will not make it into DC again. No Mall, no museums, no monuments… none of the stuff people ALWAYS see when they visit this area.

Is that weird?

We did live here for over six years… So, I have seen all that stuff. But the miscreants haven’t in quite some time. Certainly not at ages where they might actually enjoy these sights. I mean, who homeschools… and travels to only miles from the centre of the world US capital… and doesn’t visit all the stuff that everyone actually comes here specifically to see?! Who?!?

But the sad fact is, other than our trips up to Bethesda to visit with SIL and her kids, I’ve enjoyed hunkering out here in the burbs, south of the beltway, tucked away off the infamous ‘mixing bowl’, the labyrinthine maze of lanes and over-passes that is the junction of 495 and 95.

I mean, really… it’s scary out there people. Particularly for one now so accustomed to life back in the sticks, nestled in the cold, solitary safety of the Canadian Rockies. Braving the rushing traffic, road rage and over-priced parking is now only a little overwhelming. And so… rather than the Jefferson and Washington Monuments, I’ve been to two local Targets. And rather than The Mall, make it Trader Joes! OMG… I would give my husband’s left nut for a Trader Joe’s! And rather than the Natural History Museum, Sally and I hit cheap $2 Tuesday and IronMan at the movies- alongside every kid this side of the Potomac!

But we’ve also been to Baltimore. Not DC… but Baltimore. We had to drop hubby at the train for his quarterly trip to his office in Wilmington. Baltimore… where we enjoyed three hours at the aquarium amongst a thousand rabid Red Sox fans with time to kill pre-game. The Baltimore Aquarium is way cool, but for the love of Pete, does there have to be a friggin’ crowd every where we go?!?

Honestly, there are people everywhere!

Today. Today… why, Costco, of course.  Really, who doesn’t need 3 kilos of Frosted Flakes and 36 rolls of t.p. when travelling?! And the APPLE STORE!… where hopefully, with the promise of some dutiful, yet eager, wifely servicing, I will be rewarded with some form of Apple product. Truly, I do believe I could get used to the suburban life a little too easily.

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Well, two full days on the road… a fast though tearful goodbye to my sweetest of four-legged companions… hours spent answering endless variations of the question, “how much longer…” and a monstrous Costco pizza. Despite feeling completely bloated after eating it, I must thank the wondrous yet excessive entity that is Costco, as said pizza sustained us through the entire following day of nothing but salted peanuts!

And so, here we are. Deep in the hot, steamy belly of America. Only miles from the centre of the universe capital of the United States. And so far, so good. We were upgraded in our rental car after all. What was to be five of us crammed into a medium sized sedan, is now five of us cruising in a medium sized SUV.

Three rows of seating, paple! All is right with the world.

After some visiting and dinner we were pretty much ready to crash. I opted for room upstairs with Fidge. And a fan. The boys and husband opted for the ’sleeping porch’.  And dear MILlie.

Yes, given the choice: upstairs with your wife… or out on the porch with your mother…. Hmmmmmmm.

You do the math….

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Well, our week with MILlie has been a wonderful one. And it draws to a close this evening. Her travelling companions are really terrific and honestly provide a much-needed and entertaining buffer between myself and dear MILlie.

They have come. Relaxed. Hot springed. Golfed. Shopped. Hiked. Relaxed. And yes, despite the rough beginnings, were all bloody thrilled at my Rocky Mountain Sunshine Tour: 10 hours sightseeing… north, through our Columbia Valley… up to the summit of Kicking Horse, at almost 8000 feet with an amazing grizzly sighting, Kicking Horse Pass to Lake Louise where the lake was, of course glorious and shopping, thankfully fruitful, and Free. Valet. Parking. I like to think it was my fresh, sun-kissed complexion and the fact I was wearing no bra, but I believe, more accurately, it was just such a clusterfuck, the exhausted young valet just wanted to be rid of yet another vehicle full of old people…. whatever. Free. Valet. Parking.

And so… we prepare for our own trip. To MILlies. Yes. You read correctly. We now go to her house. It’s just a matter of strange timing this year that her trip up here should fall only a matter of two days before our trip down there. So from Canadian Rockies, we head south to northern Virginia. Hello humidity!

Anyways, my trust in the universe has come through yet again. We have been mulling over what to do with the Sweet HoneyBeast for weeks. We are going to be gone three weeks. Bottom line: husband did not want to spend upwards of $20 a day on a kennel/pet resort/doggie spa for our mostest faithful of companions. Apparently he has incredible trust in the capacity of the universe to provide… because what the hell else were we going to do with our precious family pet?!?! Other than bring her with us. So, I’ve been researching. And stalling. While it is a dream to take my doggie to the in-law-family Delaware beach house… she would be friggin’ over the moon there… I could not bring myself to subject her to the trauma of the flight.

The question of the dog has been mind-crushingly distracting and demoralizing. In amongst our hectic pre-holiday entertaining, work and other busy-ness, a big, black, furry, drooling weight bearing down harder with each passing day. Until this past week. When our friends/neighbors/local business owners Foreign Workers arrived. Thank you BC government and your foray into the trade of human commodities! And while I will without doubt remain skeptical of this program, bringing workers in from abroad(primarily Latin America and the Philippines), for two year stints, as they leave young families, educations and professions to come to our fair province to work menial labour, trying to make a better life…. we will do a little bit to help as this group of three lovely young Filipinos- two men and a woman (parents, each)- have a nice place to stay in their transition, while also knowing our HoneyBeast is getting good care… in her own home.

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This has been one helluva day. A great day, but Julie McCoy I ain’t. I did, however, successfully transport two senior citizens, one middle-aged woman and three miscreants hither, dither and yon in a matter of, oh… merely ten hours. While I will have pics up in a post to come- I’m just not up to it right now- the day began something like this:

8:00- Gulp last of second cup of coffee.

8:25- Miscreants are hair brushed, clean clothed and out the door and buckled into what is a CLEAN Honda Odyssey. No, I did not forget to mention that teeth were brushed. Teeth decidedly NOT brushed. But we’re out the door ready to pick up remaining party at timeshare condo for 8:30. Teeth-schmeeth….

8:40- Two senior citizens- one being visiting MIL, heretofore referred to respectfully as MILlie- and middle aged companion in CLEAN car and buckling up, on way to…

8:47- Quaint, local coffee shop ordering necessary sustenance. Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeegingersnap. Ahhhhh……

8:52- Smiling, content, coffee and gingersnap in hand, on my way out the door of quaint, local coffee shop I hear distinct and so-very-familiar blood-curdling caterwaul of my miscreants.

8:53+5secs- Opening automatic door of mini-van to see middle aged woman staring a-gawk as my two boys proceed to tear out each other’s hair by the roots while gnawing off one another’s fingers into nothing more than bloody little stumps. Screeching in a way that can only be described as otherworldly. Middle-aged woman stares a-gawk.

8:54- In an uncharacteristic display of restraint I immediately recover from my shockannoyancefrustrationbloodyeyedangerandragehumiliationembarassment at my children’s complete and total lack of self-control and decency and order them out of the vehicle. Voice calm but dripping in quiet maniacal fury.

9:55- Take boy miscreants over to furthestmost corner of small parking lot and scream my bloody fool head off, threatening torture, bodily harm and no freezies again, EVER explain to them calmly and rationally how absolutely inappropriate and disappointing their behaviour is.

10:00- Reassemble at the van, and as I silently offer myself effusive praise for controlled and effective parenting, buckle everyone in. Again. Glare meaningfully once more at offending miscreants. Two senior citizens, one being dear, blissfully clueless, MILlie, secure themselves once again in mini-van.

10:01- Middle aged woman conspicuous in her silence. I give an exhausted sigh. Gulp coffee. Slam van in reverse. Highway. North. Destination: A mere nine hours, thirty more minutes of valley, sight-seeing, family fun!

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Well, right about now, dear Filipes should be sipping a rum and coke latte in Minneapolis. He’s on his way home. I’ll be picking him up at the airport in the City of Black Gold and Riches tonight.

After a 3 and a half hour drive. After the soccer cluster#%&$ jamboree. After I vacuum the gobs of black dog hair growing legs and mating collecting in the corners of our stairs, not to mention everywhere else. And we have to squeeze in some school work. We meet our liason lady on Friday and lately we have done a whole lotta crap-all in terms of structured learning via ‘modules’. So a week of catch up awaits us. And the newspaper…. Ugh. I can’t think of coming week just yet.

Let’s just get through this day of soccer cluster#%&$ and drive to Calgary.

However, we get the joy of coming home to some Ethel Lovliness…. Our cleaning lady. She will have been while we return from the city. The house will be awash in the scent of vinegar and lemons. And after being alone with my animals kids this week, some Ethel lovliness is just what this ittybittycottagehouse needs.

The kids will sleep at Nan’s while I make the trek to the city. Silence. Alone. Four hours. A little taste of bliss before the reality of this week comes caving in. Oh God… maybe even a little shopping…. and a duck into one of bazillion Starbucks….

Oh… and of course, there’s hubby. Bestill. Heart.

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Two days spent with mostly best friend.  We had a great time.  With no one else is a relationship so easy.

Single, for the most part broke, living in a perpetual party town of transients and tourists she has come to a place, not quite but ever so close to, 40, where she “may not have any kids”.  Busy dedicating her time to a new career path and loving it, this is a place she seems satisfied with.
Considered long ago probably the most likely to have many, many kids… her resignation decision makes me sad.  Call my dismay merely a function of misery loves company… sure.  But as any mother knows, parenthood is a delicious, gratifying, blissful misery.  And without a doubt, I want my so closest of friends, ever, to know this misery.  To see her, as she hurtles inches towards 40 start making now, this a choice not to have children, rather than what had previously been a matter of just not finding the right man, but I will circumstance, knowing she would be a fantastic mother, causes me a whole lotta bummed out.

And so… she loves her life.  Her freedom.  Her time to dedicate to the things she loves.  She’s blissfully content in her ignorance.  I’m afraid she’ll never know what she’s missing.  But she is content.

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We left Friday.  Here?  Going up to +5 degrees Celcius.  There?  Once we made it through the untended, snow covered roads of KNP and on to Banff where “snow and blowing snow” kept traffic speeds to about 60 km/hr; -34 degrees Celcius (this includes the windchill, so I suppose if it were calm, it would have been a balmy -25 degrees Celcius).  Our view from the passenger window…. echoes our view out the front window… Can’t see anything,right?  Right.

So, back to my question.  Who lives here.  And Jeeeeesussss…. Why?!?  Perhaps the buttloads of cash that flow freely through the streets, you say?  OK. Valid point.

We were there to have Sally witness his first real swim meet.  He wasn’t actually racing, but did get to participate in a very good development workshop the night before.  His first time off the block.  There, at the bottom of the frame.  In a word, SPLAT! It was lovely. 

He was sooo nervous. Trooper, he. We’re so insulated here in our little mountain paradise.  A grand total of seven kids on our local team.  There, for the first time, amongst 50 or so other kids of varying skill levels, he held his own- game to try everything required of him. 

While he overcame his challenges in the pool with the masses, I enjoyed the tropical environment of the pool viewing area, shedding clothes as though suddenly dropped onto a Mexican beach.  My God, if we lived here, everyone of my kids would belong to a swim club and we would enjoy all of our winter hours basking in chlorine infused sudo-tropicality…  glorious.

And yesterday, when we left:  -45 degrees Celcius with the windchill.  3 hours, a mountain range and the BC border later, back home that evening:  -2 degrees Celcius and a gentle snowfall.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

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