…And I don’t think John McCain does either.  After my last political post I had a stroke of freaking genius.

Really, who in their right mind would want to take over the chaos that will be the reformation of American political and policy infrastructure… amidst a veritable implosion of affairs, racial, international, military and economic.

What Republican actually believes that a flip-flopping, inconsistent, aged candidate who has been at odds with his party throughout his years in the Senate and a young, inexperienced barely articulate potential V.P. with little to offer in breadth or depth of knowledge or wisdom, can actually earn the Oval Office?!

This is not to say that Obama is not in his right mind, but certainly Democrats are perhaps naively convinced that good does in fact conquer evil and that they and their noble and worthy ideals can actually, if not turn things around, at least stem the tide.  And sure, they likely can… but at great expense to the American public.  It’s gonna hurt… a tearing off of the band-aid… slowly.

Ultimately taking on this mess is going to make this next administration incredibly unpopular.  And who better to be sitting in an unpopular presidency, but a formerly popular, idealistic, handsome, young Democrat? It’s inevitable.  And the resultant pendulum swing equally inevitable… right into the outstretched, so-very-comforting, waiting arms of a new and certainly more viable… more classically Republican, candidate.  Standing next to a realistic, actually vote-able, not so ripe for comedy, running mate.

Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh, you Republicans, you!  Drive your country, not to mention your party, into the shitter and then evilly manipulate a grand resurgence when the smoke clears… Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggghhh!

It all makes sense to me now.  Like I said, genius….

OK, so maybe it didn’t come to me without a little inspiration… but if you listen to this, the theory- conspiratorial though it may be- certainly has legs.  Shaky, perhaps, but it does get one thinking….  all may not be exactly as it seems.

This was recorded last June and the only thing that’s incorrect is the predicted age of the VP candidate… otherwise… hmmmmmmmm………………….

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The new, bright, shiny object that has captured the attention and limited imagination of the American press and has landed the Veep candidacy for the GOP called it right, albeit with subtlety:  pitbulls and hockey moms are scary.  

That Sarah Palin is a pistol.  I am typically afraid of pistols.  And hockey moms.   I live amongst them… and believe me, here in the Canadian Rocky Mountain sticks, we are thick in the musky odor of the cluster*%$# that is youth hockey registration.  And ain’t nobody bothering with the lipstick!

Gross generalization to follow….

Hockey moms are ballsy, loud and take no shit… or prisoners.  Maybe it’s all the money they’re spending over the course of a season, between new equipment, rink fees and travel expenses.  Maybe it’s the time they spend freezing their asses off in sub-zero arenas or on the road: every weekend, with only a brief break over Christmas, from October through March.  Or maybe it’s the aggression of the sport in general. While fast and graceful, surprisingly brutal as early Atoms at the ripe old age of age 8.  Who the hell knows, but hockey moms are certainly a breed apart.  Understand, these are not just distant musings of an anti-violent, ultra-liberal, elitist academic.  No.

I am, in fact, a hockey mom.  No, not a mom with kids who play hockey.  By that definition I would be considered perhaps an alpine ski mom… a swim-team mom… a dance mom… and most definitely a soccer mom.  No, in the realm of hockey, I am in fact, a mom who plays hockey.  And I play with and against hockey moms.  And despite being tall and appearing fairly formidable in my gear, a hockey mom on break-away… well, it’s a sight to behold. Or, if on the ice in opposition, to avoid. I value my ass-ets, thank you very much. So I know something of what I speak.   

That said, I can see this Sarah Palin’s appeal.  Mother of five; driving her kids to and fro, meeting the formidable demands of youth hockey; clawing her way up the gritty ladder of local and state politics.  An accomplished woman, wife and mother. On the surface she is every progressive woman’s dream candidate for federal politics.  Who better to advocate for issues relating to women, children and families in general?   Ahem.

Not.  Scratch away at the immensely attractive surface and you find a very different picture.  Her record belies her appearance.  There is no arguing her strength or accomplishment.  But the details of her mandate are disturbing… certainly to those of us more comfortable with moderation in all things, particularly politics. Most specifically, her partisan stances on gun control and abortion not to mention her extreme right-wing Christian conservatism.  Despite her own personal and professional accomplishments, her own progress, Mrs. Palin’s views would serve to do nothing but hinder it for others.

If the McCain-Palin ticket is victorious in November it speaks volumes to where the majority of Americans sit politically, socially and progressively.  It also clearly defines what Americans consider change.  

I’m not sure what that means to the rest of us….

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This is supposed to be a Best Shot Monday post.  It isn’t.  I have wads of photos filling up cards, yet to be transferred over to computer for editing.  We just arrived at the in-law-family-beach-house in Delaware last night after many hours on the road and tons of fun visiting family and friends.  I am happy to settle in… get newsletter done… and just relax!

While we’ve been tired, sometimes cranky and sleeping in various different beds, these past several days have been tremendous fun, as well as a little inspiring in the areas of parenting and homeschooling.

After leaving Northern Virginia we headed south to western North Carolina, where we spent an overnight with my cousin and her family.  I haven’t seen my cousin in over 15 years.  Of all of us we were the closest cousins, during childhood, meeting most summers at my grandmother’s house in Northern Ontario.  I was in her wedding.  That was the last time I saw her.  As an aside, that last time I saw her, as recorded for all of eternity in her wedding photos, I had a hideous cold sore eating up the lower right quadrant of my face.  Our reunion on Thursday… a hideous cold sore eating up the lower right quadrant of my face.  Weird.

In the span of time since last seeing her I’ve gotten married and had three kids.  In the same span of time, she has had nine.  Yes, you read correctly… NINE.  She has nine of the best behaved, interesting, beautiful kids anywhere.  In fact, I almost took one home with me.  The baby.  He would have made for a perfectly delicious, chubby, smiling, giggling, wondrous addition to our home (currently screaming out for another baby, I might add), but I was wrestled to the ground as he was pried from my arms I resisted….  something about his already having a wonderful, loving home… what-ever.

Anyways, despite my nervousness, seeing her after so much time apart and our lives so changed, sharing time with cousin and her family was a pleasure.  She is a wonderful mother.  Thanks to her sense of structure and painstaking organization, there is no chaos or mayhem.  And the woman homeschools.  Sure, there’s the possibility everyone was on their bestest of behaviour with company- freshly beaten lectured just before we arrived- but really, things just ran too smoothly for that to be true.  It was evident that these were just well-behaved, thoughtful, intelligent, happy kids… regardless when anybody shows up.

I took notes.

After leaving North Carolina, it was back to Virginia: Hampton Roads.  Hubby’s business partner and his family.  More familiar in the noise and chaos.  Perhaps less organized than our hosts the previous night… but like I said, familiar!  It’s always fun and we hit El Mariachi.  My favourite Mexican place.  Anywhere.  And we took the gang to Busch Gardens at Williamsburg.  OMG!  I had a blast.  Not being of age, or more specifically interest, for rollercoasters and other harrowing amusement park rides, they were pretty bored until they got to the bumper cars.  Watching mummy depart each ride, swaying and swerving, slightly green-faced, grinning like an idiot only has so much appeal to the young ‘uns.  But, hey… I. Had. A.  Blast!!  Apollo’s Chariot.  Alpengeist.  Lochness Monster.  Loved.  It.  I didn’t get to the Griffon.  I wasn’t quite ready to ball up for that one.  Maybe next time.  And perhaps a kid might actually go with me….

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This is likely our last night in the suburban DC area for this trip. We head on to North Carolina, back up to Norfolk and then spend the remaining time at the Delaware beach house.

Other than our trip to the zoo, it looks like we will not make it into DC again. No Mall, no museums, no monuments… none of the stuff people ALWAYS see when they visit this area.

Is that weird?

We did live here for over six years… So, I have seen all that stuff. But the miscreants haven’t in quite some time. Certainly not at ages where they might actually enjoy these sights. I mean, who homeschools… and travels to only miles from the centre of the world US capital… and doesn’t visit all the stuff that everyone actually comes here specifically to see?! Who?!?

But the sad fact is, other than our trips up to Bethesda to visit with SIL and her kids, I’ve enjoyed hunkering out here in the burbs, south of the beltway, tucked away off the infamous ‘mixing bowl’, the labyrinthine maze of lanes and over-passes that is the junction of 495 and 95.

I mean, really… it’s scary out there people. Particularly for one now so accustomed to life back in the sticks, nestled in the cold, solitary safety of the Canadian Rockies. Braving the rushing traffic, road rage and over-priced parking is now only a little overwhelming. And so… rather than the Jefferson and Washington Monuments, I’ve been to two local Targets. And rather than The Mall, make it Trader Joes! OMG… I would give my husband’s left nut for a Trader Joe’s! And rather than the Natural History Museum, Sally and I hit cheap $2 Tuesday and IronMan at the movies- alongside every kid this side of the Potomac!

But we’ve also been to Baltimore. Not DC… but Baltimore. We had to drop hubby at the train for his quarterly trip to his office in Wilmington. Baltimore… where we enjoyed three hours at the aquarium amongst a thousand rabid Red Sox fans with time to kill pre-game. The Baltimore Aquarium is way cool, but for the love of Pete, does there have to be a friggin’ crowd every where we go?!?

Honestly, there are people everywhere!

Today. Today… why, Costco, of course.  Really, who doesn’t need 3 kilos of Frosted Flakes and 36 rolls of t.p. when travelling?! And the APPLE STORE!… where hopefully, with the promise of some dutiful, yet eager, wifely servicing, I will be rewarded with some form of Apple product. Truly, I do believe I could get used to the suburban life a little too easily.

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We spent an afternoon at the zoo. National Zoo. Downtown Washington, DC. I do enjoy a good zoo… and National is top o’ the heap… cuz, y’know, it’s like, free. If you don’t count the $20 bucks for parking.

Anyhoo. We get to the zoo every time we visit the in-law family on the east coast. This year, in an effort to let SIL rest, we took her kids, too. The cousins. Three. Ages 6, 3 and almost 2. Along with our own miscreants. Six kids, Filipes and I. Thankfully she had the foresight to pack snacks and drinks. For six kids. Because, we packed NOTHING! And while conscientious, organized SIL handed us a cooler pack full of afternoon at zoo sustenance, all husband and I could do was look at each other sheepishly, while pulling one another’s heads out of our respective asses. I mean, who plans to take six freakin’ kids for an afternoon at the zoo in 90 degree heat and packs NOTHING?!?! Perhaps we figured we’d spend a fortune on hotdogs, french fries and pop…. or maybe just get ‘em jacked up on over-priced lemonade and cotton candy. Or perhaps, just perhaps, we did not think at all…. But, I digress. Off to the zoo….

Mr. Gorilla Cranky-Pants…

See… just not in the mood for company…

And nothing but ass…

More Cranky-Pants… Orangutan style. Regarding his adoring public with disdain…

And some pretty- stinky!- flamingos!

Shnoooort…. Schnuuuurzzzzzzzz…. Schnuuuuuuuuummph…

Zzzzzzzzzzzz…. urcccchh…. huuuunnngh…. zzzzzzzzzzzz……

And along with the animals of course….

The girlies….

The challenge of the water fountain….

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Well, two full days on the road… a fast though tearful goodbye to my sweetest of four-legged companions… hours spent answering endless variations of the question, “how much longer…” and a monstrous Costco pizza. Despite feeling completely bloated after eating it, I must thank the wondrous yet excessive entity that is Costco, as said pizza sustained us through the entire following day of nothing but salted peanuts!

And so, here we are. Deep in the hot, steamy belly of America. Only miles from the centre of the universe capital of the United States. And so far, so good. We were upgraded in our rental car after all. What was to be five of us crammed into a medium sized sedan, is now five of us cruising in a medium sized SUV.

Three rows of seating, paple! All is right with the world.

After some visiting and dinner we were pretty much ready to crash. I opted for room upstairs with Fidge. And a fan. The boys and husband opted for the ’sleeping porch’.  And dear MILlie.

Yes, given the choice: upstairs with your wife… or out on the porch with your mother…. Hmmmmmmm.

You do the math….

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Strange, I find myself sort of yearning for July 4th’s past. My early wedded years spent living just outside The Beltway. Heading down, on The Mall, either by Metro… or fighting for parking somewhere just beyond downtown. Snacks packed, junk food bought there amongst the sprawling masses. The spectacle. The celebration. Fireworks like nowhere else, man! There’s nothing like spending a nation’s defining holiday in it’s very own capital. Particularly that of the American variety. Holey Moley, those Yanks do it up right- big, bigger, biggest- for I.D.

Y’know… I think we did that twice. Have you ever tried to make it out of a nation’s capital at the end of the Fourth of July celebration? As the last of the sparks of the Grand Finale dwindle, people are sprinting for a first spot in the Metro station or their vehicles, like extras in a TomCruiseWillSmithBenAffleck action flick, running desperately for their lives, from aliensterroristslavanuclearbombmeteors. And then… the line to cross one of the bridges to get out of Dodge. Hope you saved a corndog….

But then we discovered a cozy little spot across the river, along GW Parkway. Peace, quiet, a picnic and a wonderful view of the fireworks reflected in the Potomac.

And then… we got pregnant… and then had a baby… and we stopped bothering with DC altogether… and for the last couple of years there, remained safely ensconced in our own little corner of suburbia and attended the local community celebration. Just as much fun, honestly. You can trust that no matter the neighborhood, big or small, Americans know how to do up their day.

On this so very American of holidays… which, if not for the presence of dear Husband, would go largely unnoticed in our home here, north of the border. So, in honour of this, the most hallowed of American holidays, we are having our own little celebration. The first official 4th of July celebration in our little lakside neighborhood. There will be friends. Food. Booze…. And of course, fireworks.

There won’t be any flags- little, or no, red, white and blue; no apple pie; and no anthem on loop; but without doubt we’ll still have a good time.

Until the fireworks. We are surrounded by many trees… there will be many kids… and I did mention the booze…. Please just let everyone go home with all of their limbs… and kids.

So… to all Americans… not the least of whom, Husband, mi American Filipes, I wish you a heartfelt, Happy and SAFE, Independence Day. All the best of this July 4th!

Edited to add:  Husband just reminded me of another very special July 4th and despite the fact it did not occur in the United States, our second child was conceived on The Fourth of July…. it’s one of the most worthy of note!

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Another Attack on U.S. Would Be “Big Advantage” For McCain….

Ummmm…. Wow. As usual tasty morsels for the press. My only question is: after the past eight fucking years, there’s anyone out there that would reasonably dispute this?! Bush built- and subsequently lost, a term or two too late- a presidency exclusively on the fear and paranoia of the American public. Based on the terror and tragedy of 9-11. Bush got a whole helluva lotta traction out of 9-11… disturbing, really. More disturbing still: The public bought it, and an unjust war, hook line and sinker.

My husband’s- American that he is, despite my best efforts- initial response to McCain’s advisor was one of indignation, something about “insulting our intelligence…”

Huh?! After a backhand upside his handsome head most gentle reminder that after the past near decade, our hopped up neighbors to the south have absolutely no right to indignation with regards to their intelligence. I’m sorry hopped up Americans. But as an objective observer, enjoying the buffer of an international border and a vastly different set of values with regards to foreign policy, you have to understand that the rest of the world can only sometimes just stare in incredulous stupefication.

The sad truth is… an international or domestic incident fundamentally threatening the national security of the United States would be better than Jesus ariz at Christmastime for the GOP. Sick, yes. But the fact is when push comes to shove- Jihad Style- nobody’s gonna put the security of the nation in the young, inexperienced hands of Barack Obama. McCain’d ride the wave of fear all the way to the White House.

Bush was a goofy, po-dunk, good ol’ boy before 9-11. Until the unfortunate quagmire that is Iraq, it was the national crisis that took down The World Trade Centers that defined his presidency. It rallied overwhelming public support and approval. It got him elected a second term.

The power of fear….

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Hillary has finally bagged out of the race. She’s finally sucked it up and released herself and the American public- not to mention the international community viewing in perplexed fascination- from this ongoing spectacle of a beleaguered political party continuing to devour its own fleshy insides.

There was a time, liberal Canadian that I am, that I watched a young professional; a wife and mother step up before congress and present her vision for implementing universal health care in a system convinced, no- utterly infused with the idea, that only free market prevails, where everyone’s needs are eventually met in the ‘trickling down’. I was awestruck.

I loved Hillary.

I supported her through Gennifer Flowers, whichever ‘gate’ was fashionable, Monica Lewinsky and her successful bid for New York senator. She was strong, ambitious, and I thought largely underestimated and misunderstood.

However, her unsuccessful bid for the Democratic nomination, comes deserved. Not to mention her misguided support of invading Iraq and her subsequent utter waffling on how to proceed. In this process, she lost my support and even more unfortuately, my respect. She was no longer the determined, idealistic woman I watched in awe almost 15 years ago. In her journey back towards the White House, she lost me. And many others.

In her efforts to appeal to everyone, she lost her base. And despite being Canadian, I considered myself part of that. So, to anyone listening… please do not allow Hillary on the ticket. Despite her relentless hard work, perserverence and ball breaking attitude, she has not earned this consideration.

So, to anyone listening… short of Howard Dean, I can’t think of anyone better to join Barack Obama, than the lovely John Edwards. He’s pretty. So the guy spent my monthly grocery budget on his hair, he’s still a better candidate for the job of Veep. Again, he’s pretty. And smart. And he would also put the finishing touches on a progressively leftist government south of the border- to date, unheard of!!

In sharing these opinions, understand that, ironically, I am not without a vote.

When hubby heads off to the polls, understand… he will have my voice in his head. And a warm bed waiting for him….

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If you’re listening… um… I mean, reading…

I love you both. Barack… you in particular. As a Canadian, I love you. As a Canadian, and I will readily speak for my northern counterparts, we love you. We welcome a president of like mind. As we don’t have one heading our own ‘administration’…

However, as much as I love you… as a Canadian… and a Canadian supporter of Barack for Prez, my hackles are stimulated in a bad way everytime I hear an American I like, state with absolute:

“I would never have been able to accomplish what I have in any other country than the United States of America.”

Aaaargghhh!

Perhaps, “I would never have been able to accomplish what I have, without the hurdles/barriers/challenges that I have been forced by this, the United States of America, to overcome.”

Now… as a Canadian… this more accurate statement, I can get behind.

Regardless, I love you Barack! Ditto, Oprah!

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